There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Randomize
