gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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