she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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