Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize