My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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