he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
