So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
