Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
