Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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