Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
