your parents love me but you hate me
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
so much tequila, so little girl.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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