Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
