walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
