Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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