Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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