Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
