apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
