I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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