Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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