All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
