I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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