I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Everyone says I win the strip club
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
