If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
