I bet he comes in French.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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