There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
soo... how was my night?
Randomize