Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
