Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
