A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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