dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
