My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
