Someone shit on the floor
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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