All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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