I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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