It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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