This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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