new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
