I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
