his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
