Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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