Your tits are I can't wait for
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
