So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
