I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
