i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
