Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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