God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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