How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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