I just made out with a guy for $7.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
