i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
