i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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