Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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