I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
