no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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