We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
