Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
