am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
