he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
