i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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