It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
