The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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