I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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