just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
