There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
