OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
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This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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