No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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