i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
