i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
