So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
