New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
